TBI #1 Bible Burger

Submitted by Nate Hoover and Ryan Rotz

Product Name

Bible Burger

Tagline or catch phrase

“Because you can’t survive on bread alone”

* Quick summary of terrible business idea

Bible Burger is the ultimate religious dining experience. The atmosphere is Red-Robin-esque and features a menu where all items have Bible names (often puns). The waiters introduce themselves in the formal Jewish manor (i.e. “James, son of Zebeddee”) and murals of Bible scenes featuring food cover the walls.

“Would you like your Abrahamburger anointed with the 10 condiments?” Yes.

Menu:  (products and services)

Appetizers

Sadducee salt fries

Lord Cheese-us sampler (featuring Nebuchadchedder, matzah-rella, Gorgon-zealot, and Parme-John)

Forbidden fruit platter (customers will be notified that if they eat the forbidden fruit platter, they will surely die)

Soups

Stew-hedren

Philisteamed Vegetable

Burgers/entrees

Abrahamburger

The Gentile (bacon burger)

Salvation Burger (3.16 pounds of fulfilling beef)

Mary Magda-lean burger (50% less fat)

Shadrach-of-Lamb Burger

Grilled Mel-cheese-adek Sandwich

Samson and Deli Sandwich

Ciaphish Tacos

The Good Shepard’s Pie

Ask about our Daily Bread special (M-F) and our Sabbath Special (Sat-Sun)!

Salad (“A bowl of vegetables with someone you love
 is better than steak with someone you hate.” Proverbs 15:17)

Gethsemane Garden

Give to Caesar what is Caesar’s

Desserts

Denarii Cake (pound cake)

Banana Manna Split

Burned (Offering) Ice Cream

Virgin Mary-ion Berry Pie

Kids Menu

5 fish and 2 loaves of bread (fish and chips)

Ye of little faith burger

Family Orders (6 or more people)

12 Tribes of Israel-y good food

The Last Supper

David and Goliath  (one large burger and one small burger)

Beverages

Moses Merlot  (Red Wine)

White Zerubbabel  (White Wine)

12 Beer-shebas on tap including Pale Ale-lijah

Samaritan wells including Soda and Gomor-Rum (Rum and Coke)

Holy and Unholy Spirits (clear and dark spirits)

* Your meal starts with a basket of Manna (bread) and is concluded with complementary communion elements. Leave a generous tip and you may substitute your grape juice for wine!

** For orders under $10, please Barna-bus your own table.

Please don’t overeat. Gluttony is sinful and will add 10% to your bill.

Is this a seasonal product? Will sales be affected by certain holidays?

Bible Burger would loosely follow the church calendar, including Advent, Christmas, Lent, Easter, and so forth. This would include decorations, events, entertainment, and special foods. Sales are expected to increase dramatically during these holidays.

What are customers saying about your product/service? (Feel free to make up a fake quote)

“If Christ is the bread of life I sure hope he tastes like Bible Burger.”

Customers

Who will your customers be?

Families with children (middle school or younger), middle class, Christian or Catholic. Depending on location, college students will also be a huge market.

Competition

What products and companies will compete with you?

Other low to mid-price sit-down restaurants.  Red Robin, Chili’s, Denny’s, Sherries, etc.

How will your products or services compare with the competition? What makes you unique?

We are extremely, over the top, Bible-Themed. Customers come to Bible Burger for the experience.

Marketing

What is your marketing strategy?

– Local radio and video commercials, mail-order coupons, local sports team sponsorships. We would also try and get on TV and in major publications and newspapers because our niche is so extreme.

– Receipts will say, “don’t let this be your ‘last supper’ at Bible Burger. Come back again soon!

Discounts would also be offered to create buzz and maximize profits:

– Discounts for memorizing the weekly Bible verse.

– Do the “David Dance” (dance naked) when you order by phone and get a discount (2nd Samuel 6:14-23).

– Double Copper Coin discount (Senior Discount)

– True Religion Discount (If you can prove you’re a widow or orphan, you eat for free!) James 1:27

Business Location

Where will you set up shop and what will it look like?

– Cities that have prominent Christian colleges like Wheaton, Liberty, Biola, Fuller, and Regent.

– Bright colors, murals of Bible scenes involving food (Jesus feeding 5000, last supper, eating wheat on the Sabbath).

– As you walk in a statue of Moses raising his staff will greet you. To get to the lobby you will walk through the red sea, with it’s waves parted on either side of you.

Personnel

High school students will be recruited from youth groups but everyone will be encouraged to apply, regardless of religious affiliation. The main requirements for employees will be a sense of humor, amiability, and a willingness to learn a little about the Bible. However, if feasible, restaurant managers must be Christians in order to keep the Bible Burger brand and mission consistent.

All employees would be addressed in the formal Jewish manor. Instead of “(first name), (last name)” it would be “(first name), son of (father’s name).”

-ex. “Andrew, son of Todd, may I have some more Manna please?”

Wrap Up

* Why is this a Terrible Business Idea?

Here are a few problems I see:

-There could be a lot of backlash from the “religious” community (aka. Christians with no sense of humor). Some smaller communities may even protest or boycott the restaurant, claiming it is sacrilegious.

– We could be overestimating how many families/college students would want to come to Bible Burger. A considerable amount of research would need to be done in order to find the best possible location(s).

– Maintaining the brand image would be very difficult. From a business standpoint, Bible Burger isn’t the worst idea out there, but from a spiritual standpoint, with the wrong company leadership a lot of customers and employees could be misled about Christianity, the Bible, and Jesus.

2 Comments

  1. Fred
    Posted June 2, 2010 at 8:59 am | Permalink

    I was floored, cracking up like crazy. The funny thing is this probably exists somewhere in the Midwest maybe. The burgers are priceless

  2. Ryan Rotz
    Posted June 2, 2010 at 1:57 pm | Permalink

    If you can find a real Bible Burger please let me know. I will fly there asap!

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