Category Archives: TBIs by Ryan

GovSquare

Product Name GovSquare Products and Services GovSquare is mandatory social network that you are added to when you receive your drivers license at 16. When you receive a speeding ticket or felony, your I.D. is scanned and the citation shows up on your GovSquare profile. Depending on how many crimes you commit, you can earn […]

Washboard Abs Laundry Services

Submitted by Ryan Rotzwith special help from Amy C. and Ali S. Product Name Washboard Abs Laundry Services Quick summary of terrible business idea Do you enjoy long, often socially awkward glances at attractive man-abs? Do you have dirty laundry? (The real kind, not the kind with emotional baggage) Are you short on time and […]

Floppy disc car stereo

Product Name
Floppy Tunes

Tagline or catch-phrase
“Flop in some tunes and crank it old school!”

Quick summary of terrible business idea
A car stereo that plays audio files stored on floppy disks.

Product

floppy disc car stereo

iPods are for hipsters. The indie crowd wants vintage. They want Floppy Tunes.

Base Jumper Hoodie

Product Name
Incognito

Tagline or catch-phrase
“You like jumping off of things. Now you can do it in a hooded sweatshirt”

Quick summary of terrible business idea
An average looking hooded sweatshirt that emits a parachute when the drawstrings are pulled.

Product
The sweatshirt would be quite baggy to fit the parachute pack inside. There would be a crease going down the middle of the back, which could easily be broken (automatically) for the parachute to emerge. Pulling the normal-looking drawstrings would release the chute. For the full incognito effect, the harness that goes around your butt and groin would be (strapped on) under your pants.

What will it look like?

parachute hoodie

How much will it cost?
$2000, including the parachute and harnesses.

What are customers saying about your product/service?

“Until I pull the drawstrings, I’m just some guy jumping off of a building in a hooded sweatshirt. Everyone thinks I’m committing suicide. Surprise! I’m not.”

Customers
Basejumpers who like to jump in urban areas, basejumpers in general, skydivers, and probably a few “bros” who are trying to impress “the babes.”

Competition
There are multiple companies that make base jumping “containers” (aka backpacks) but none have incorporated them into clothing. *Niche Alert*

Marketing
I would start networking with the top base jumpers and get them to use the product, create videos, and distribute online. It would make a great viral video. Advertising on base jumping websites and perhaps partnering with other companies might also prove effective.

Industry

Generation X and Y are all about living in the present, living life to the fullest, carpe diem, whatever. With tools like Youtube, the base jumping industry will continue to see massive growth and exposure.

Why is this a Terrible Business Idea?
Good question. This could work right? In some form or another, yes. However, my fear is that some rich high school kid or marketing person who “desperately needs to make a viral video” will buy this product, jump off of a building, and in mid-air realize, “Uh oh, I think I grabbed the wrong sweatshirt…”

TBI #3 Panhandle Pro

Company Name

Panhandle Pro
Tagline or catch-phrase

Don’t beg harder, beg smarter!
Quick summary of terrible business idea

PHP is a network marketing company that provides a “tried and true” system for people like you and me, who want to earn a full-time income on a part-time basis in the massively expanding industry of panhandling.

TBI #1 Bible Burger

Submitted by Nate Hoover and Ryan Rotz Product Name Bible Burger Tagline or catch phrase “Because you can’t survive on bread alone” * Quick summary of terrible business idea Bible Burger is the ultimate religious dining experience. The atmosphere is Red-Robin-esque and features a menu where all items have Bible names (often puns). The waiters […]

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